I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
