You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
