Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
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To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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