just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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