had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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