Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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