Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
