shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize