He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
