Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
