i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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