Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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