Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
