apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
