No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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