i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
