i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
