Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
