As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
