I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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