can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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