no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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