So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
