turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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