omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
