whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
