btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The best revenge is premature balding
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
