the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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