I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
