going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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