I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you win again, gameday.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
