I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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