If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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