moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i now understand why vodka
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
