All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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