its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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