Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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