in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
