there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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