It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
