$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.