Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm like, not good at living.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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