Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.

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(425): There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason. http://tfl.nu/skwm

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(435): View more from Utah

Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood

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(435): Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood http://tfl.nu/j2rr

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(607): View more from New York

If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.

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(607): If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock. http://tfl.nu/sga2

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(908): View more from New Jersey

The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

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(908): The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels. http://tfl.nu/nz1k

Replies (5) Good night (4760) Bad night (810)
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(678): View more from Georgia

i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend

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(678): i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend http://tfl.nu/xiia

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(845): View more from New York

dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"

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(845): dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED" http://tfl.nu/7ras

Replies (4) Good night (1189) Bad night (2729)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all

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(250): After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all http://tfl.nu/42sy

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(602): View more from Arizona

the head trauma was worth the blowjob.

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(602): the head trauma was worth the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/e9mc

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(519): View more from Ontario

That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded

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(519): That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded http://tfl.nu/gpq0

Replies (3) Good night (1962) Bad night (594)
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(206): View more from Washington

I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow

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(206): I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow http://tfl.nu/8ygv

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits

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(719): I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits http://tfl.nu/6x3w

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?

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(337): Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think? http://tfl.nu/0xiw

Replies (9) Good night (988) Bad night (1363)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness

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(610): I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness http://tfl.nu/gzkv

Replies (6) Good night (1582) Bad night (728)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.

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(724): Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores. http://tfl.nu/hule

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(678): View more from Georgia

I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me

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(678): I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me http://tfl.nu/qbi9

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