wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website