found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up