Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
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he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
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You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.