no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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