the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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