Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
