Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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