So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
