Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
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Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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