Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
