butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
