just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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