I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
