whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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