No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
