I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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