I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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