my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Bring me that man meat
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize