The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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