i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
