you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
