brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
