Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
