When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
