Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
