So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
