I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
