Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
