I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
