I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
