bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
