When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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